my journey

May 31

(Source: nikkisevenfresh)

May 29

Holier than Thou..

Tim Keller articulates very eloquently a subject that really bothers me: church people who act “holier than thou.” Those who have been in the church forever, or those very involved in church activities. Those who judge what people do, what they wear, who their friends are. Those who very outwardly express their faith for all to hear. I think we all know the type..

Well in the Prodigal Son, Keller speaks about how BOTH sons were sinners in the story, not just the brother who strayed. This was because he did “good” for the wrong reasons, and held bitterness and contempt for his brother who tried to come back.

I always think of this story when I see people that act this way. Today…today was the day I found out many bad things about certain “holier than thou” people that I personally know. Some that I admire. I’m shocked to my core. Not because they sinned, everyone sins. But more because of how they portray themselves. These same people that so harshly judge others HAVE THE NERVE to do such things. It saddens me. I’m stunned right now.

I only can go to scripture, where Jesus says of the Pharisee’s: do as they say and not as they do. Because they set up high expectations of people that even they don’t meet.

We are all sinners. And no, one cannot compare one sin to another. In the end it is all wrong. And as Keller says, one of the worst things church people can do is look down on others and not accept them back. It sickens me. I’d rather sit at a table full of sinners who can say they have sinned but are forgiven, than these people that care so much about appearances.

It’s just disgusting.

May 27

“Then spake Jesus to the multitude, and to his disciples, [2] Saying, The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat: [3] All therefore whatsoever they bid you observe, that observe and do; but do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not. [4] For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers. [5] But all their works they do for to be seen of men: they make broad their phylacteries, and enlarge the borders of their garments, [6] And love the uppermost rooms at feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues, [7] And greetings in the markets, and to be called of men, Rabbi, Rabbi. [8] But be not ye called Rabbi: for one is your Master, even Christ; and all ye are brethren. [9] And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven. [10] Neither be ye called masters: for one is your Master, even Christ. [11] But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant. [12] And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.” — Matthew 23:1-12 (KJV)

May 26

“The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?” — Psalm 27:1

[video]

Just Sayinn..

I don’t know how I lived life without God before…

but I will never be without Him again.

May 21

Thank You Lord

I find myself saying “thank you Lord” more and more.

I am favored. I am blessed. I am destined for greatness. I have a purpose.

I am just so grateful.

I see now that once you are doing God’s will, you can never be in darkness.

Your will be done.

May 17

Notes Of A Pastor...: I chose to be unpersuaded... -

notesofapastor:

And I paid for it dearly.

When I was younger, I did not grasp the truths God laid before me, because I chose to live life on my own. That was stupid, and if you want to throw arrogant into the mixture, go ahead.

I was so petrified of becoming a “Jesus-Freak” to my friends, that I missed out on…

May 14

Forgiveness

So I went to a youth meeting at my church last night, more expecting to socialize, less expecting to receive a word. But God works in all types of ways, and He sent me a message that I truly needed (and also refocused me).

The topic of the night was forgiveness. There was a discussion portion in which several questions were answered, such as:

What do you think forgiveness is?

What if someone offends you over and over?

Would you forgive someone who rapes you or someone you know?

There were so many good answers and thoughts that showed me that I am not the only one who struggles with this. One pastor said that there are several BIG things in Christianity, but the little ones are the ones we should not forget. Like forgiveness. We all know the answer: “we must forgive because Jesus forgave us” and “before you can give praise to God, you must go make peace with those who offended you.” But IMPLEMENTING this when every fiber in you is telling you to lash out….takes much grace :)

The youth leader also shared many points, and scriptures, regarding forgiveness.

But I say onto you, Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to them who hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you - Matthew 5:44

When he talked about forgiveness against SELF, I was touched:

What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid.. - Romans 6:1-2

and

For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.- 1 John 3:20

There is no point in me dwelling in self pity and guilt. Jesus paid the ultimate debt so that I can be forgiven. My heart has been condemning me, but He knows all things, and He knows I have repented and that I have no plans on turning back. So contrary to my previous post, I am moving ahead, and trusting in God’s plan for my life wherever it leads.

We are all sinners, and God sees every sin THE SAME. Down to the smallest lie. Thank God that all those who truly seek forgiveness, receive it.

May 05

It gets hard..

It’s hard not to look at my past and get really upset. 

I get upset about missed opportunities. All the conversations I could have had with truly inspiring people. All the deep talks and fellowship I missed out on because I’d rather go party or shop. All the times I could have helped people in need but I was too blindly focused on what I needed

I get upset about friendships I missed out on. I had the chance to bond with other Christians yet chose to befriend those I can hide behind. The chance to see how others managed to keep the faith in the most strenuous times, yet was too distracted by negative influences. 

And I get really upset thinking of all the times I had a chance to prove God faithful, but decided to do things on my own. So many time I was faced with bad news, and just cried in self pity. I was challenged and had so many obstacles, and I decided to be depressed and not go to God. So many times God could have gave me rest but I was stuck in agony. I was tempted so many times, and gave in because I was not filled with the Holy Spirit.

It saddens me. I am so grateful to know now..I am. But at the same time I cannot help but to look back at my path of destruction, look around at the friendships I built on unsteady foundations, and not cry. 

I don’t want to be sad, and I try to be optimistic even considering all these things. At the very least, I hope someone reads this, or uses me as an example to seek God now. He is waiting for you.